Recipe For A Book

Ingredients:

• 137 CDs
• 2 boxed sets (4 CDs each, Zeppelin/Lomax)
• 38 DVDs
• 2.3 days of mp3s
• 34 photographs
• 47 books
• 17 journal articles
• 12-25 book chapters
• 25-50 magazine articles
• Approx. 100-200 reviews
• 15 websites
• 10 blogs
• 40-50,000 words of notes & early drafts
• 3 book outlines
• 2 book proposals
• 19 important conversations
• 8 farm-poached hunches
• 3 raw, organic hunches, locally grown
• 5 wild guesses
• 12 unsupported hypotheses
• 45 arguments, of varying degrees of toughness
• 5-7 theories
• 2 epiphanies
• A pinch of swagger
• A batch of footnotes
• 3 (large, where available) tubs of ambition
• Approx. 20 hours of fluffy, lightly-coated air guitar
• Approx. 100 hours of tart off-key singing
• Approx. 50 hours of ham-fisted percussion (tofu can be substituted, for vegetarian authors)
• 2-5 packs of Band Aids

Additional Ingredients:

• Approx. 15 days of free time
• Several cases of P.G. Tips
• A lifetime of hubris

Allow the ingredients to marinate for 8-10 months. Some light poaching can occur at this early stage, but take care not to poach too much. You must then remove all the hubris before proceeding to the next stage, or book poisoning may occur.

Now take the 15 days of free time and fold them into the ingredients, stirring vigorously before putting on to the stove & bringing to a light literary simmer.

After 3 days, turn the heat up to Very High. 11, where possible. Make sure the arguments stay hot at all times. Keep stirring the pot & remove any excess ambition that floats to the surface. Too much ambition can lead to vomiting & severe headaches. But do not remove all the ambition – too little will leave your dish with a bland taste & a soggy texture.

After a further 12 days of cooking, let your book cool down.

Then take a break before tasting. Go to the store to buy more P.G. Tips.

Et voila! You have another draft of your dish. If it tastes horrible, you must start again. And if it tastes good, you must start again.

The professor of pop is now busy in the kitchen, so forgive us if we post less frequently for the next couple of weeks.

Forthcoming: A Recipe For Disaster